Watching You Betray Me
by Ppandarr
Summary: Mello feels as though Near is avoiding him, what with all the rejections etc. Can this relationship really last much longer...what is he up to. He is definitely hiding something. MelloXNear //COMPLETED\\
1. It Hurts

_**Warning - contains man love XD**_

_**Slight spoiler if you haven't got up to episode 25 of the anime.**_

_**Hey guys, me again. There is much more of a plot here than my last, so if your just into SMUT for no reason, you shall have to read anyways lol xD...I absolutely feel your pain.**_

_**The reason – The reason I have decided to make this the sequel to Watching you watching me, is because it refers to the competition between Mello and Near, through the feelings they have for each other and how they use each other to find each other...enjoy.**_

_**The story switches from Mello telling the story to Near to Mello telling the story to us. Its not too confusing so don't worry too much. e.g 'I hate you' - 'I hate him'**_

Watching You Betray Me - Mello Prov

Anime: Death Note

Pairing:Near/Mello

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance/

Rated: M for language and reads of a sexual nature :P

Disclaimer:I obviously DO NOT own Death Note...I actually don't know why XD

_**Mello feels as though Near is avoiding him, what with all the rejections etc. Can this relationship really last much longer...what is he up to. He is definitely hiding something.**_

_**Sequel to, watching you watching me.**_

†

Its Hurts...

_I love the feeling of him being inside of me, a feeling like no other. When we're so close to each other, so complete...its impossible to become any closer. But what am I forced to believe when he's forgotten me so suddenly. Is he bored of me now, have we done everything we can with each other and now he's moving on. Moving on to becoming better then me?_

_Who are you to tell me about fair, you never gave me a chance to fight back. Never gave me a chance to hurt you the same way you hurt me. I never thought I would be so vulnerable to your words, to your actions. And to be honest I absolutely hate myself for allowing myself to be this way, for allowing myself to be seen this way._

_We've been living together for a little over a month now, and already, cracks are beginning to show in this 'flawless' relationship._

_Its been going like this for a while now, Near comes home late. He barely acknowledges me...no matter what I do. If I were lying sprawled out naked on the bed for him, he would probably just ask me to move over. I'm feeling...rejected, I'm feeling...lonely. I'm feeling a lot of things, and none of them are good. I'm going to do something about it._

I sit up as I hear the tumbler of the lock. _He's home._

I wait patiently as he walks in casually, with that usual expression on his face. The expression that shows he isn't thrilled to be home. Shouldn't he be happy coming home to me? _Shouldn't he?_

_This is becoming painful._

He strolls into the kitchen, not saying a word to me, shocking considering you have to go through the living room to get to the kitchen.

He doesn't even glance.

_Its painful, Near...your hurting me._

He comes into the living room with a glass of clear liquid, I assume its just water...Near doesn't drink the alcohol in the apartment. That's my job. Probably can't hold his drink very well either.

He sits down in his usual place. The place where he only spends six minutes before getting up and going to bed. Still not a word said, and its beginning to irritate me.

I decide that my best bet is to, strike up a conversation. _Even though it is something I hate doing._

"Near..." I say.

He doesn't look up, he has a book in his hands now. Letting his eyes dart around the double page, as he continues to ignore me. I know he can hear me, he twitched as I called his name. He's doing it on purpose. _The bastard._

"Near..." I call again, _I'm going to stay calm._

Still he doesn't look up from the pure white pages, stained with black ink, telling a story that no one cares about.

I can't take much more of this, this is painful Near. How long do you plan to ignore me so blatantly?

I rise from my seated position. You may be home at the same time every night Near, and I may become excited when I see your figure walk through that door. But everytime I forget, that when you _are_ home...everything just seems colder.

I walk towards our bedroom, my bare feet padding on the cold wood floor. Waiting to sink into carpet. Warm, white and always there when I long for it. _Like Near used to be. _The room is dark, and I keep it that way. It matches my mood as of right now.

I unlace the cords on my leather pants, and slide them down my thighs, not bothering to pay attention to detail. I remove my vest and discard my clothes on the floor. I'm left in just my silk black boxer. The boxer's I'd of liked to be removed by Near tonight...But I guess that's not happening.

Allowing myself to fall forward onto my side of the bed, I let the satin quilts around me run over every part of my body, as I curl up under the covers.

Its not long before I realise, I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight.

Thirty minutes have passed, and sleep hasn't even begun to take me. Not tempted to close my eyes, nor to count sheep. I'm wide awake, I can hear every sound around me. The ticking of the clock, the sound of the dripping tap coming from the on-suite. The sound of delicate water, hitting against the marble sink. Constantly hitting that marble, but it can't penetrate it. The sounds of such things irritate everyone around, close enough to acknowledge it...but not the marble, the marble doesn't care. _Damn it_...I can hear myself comparing everything to Near and I.

But I can still hear everything, the ticking, the dripping, the...the sound of Near coming to bed.

I grow eager, waiting for him to enter the room.

He does. I can see him. Dark, but his form stops the light from entering the room directly, instead it finds its way around him.

He undresses to just his boxers also. I want to be the one to take them off tonight Near. But will that happen?

He climbs into bed, different from the way I do. He lifts the covers and slides his way in between the satin and silk.

I can feel his body, its really warm. _So warm._

We're back to back, my cool back against his warm one. Do opposites attract? I think so.

I want you Near...But can I have you?

_Will you reject me like you do every night?_

I can hear myself becoming desperate, I've forgotten the feeling of being so close to you Near. That feeling when you can't get much closer. _The feeling of becoming one._

I turn my body over, I'm now facing your pure white back, I can see your rib cage expand as you breathe. But...I want you to pant!

I move close to you, you can probably feel my breath on you neck. I can see strands of colourless hair, dance around._ Let me touch you Near._

I'm anxious, I'm scared of the out come to being so direct.

I raise my hands and let my fingers trail up your back, following the path of your spine. Can you feel it? Of course you can, but...can you feel how horrifically desperate I've become?

Its like the first time we did it...remember?

How you teased me, but we both knew we would get something out of it. How you pinned me to my bed, and forced me to feel pleasure...and pain. _But that was real, wasn't it._How you tricked me into allowing you to be Seme. Remember? _Do you remember Near?_

I can feel your body shiver beneath my touch. Aren't you going to stop me? Or do you think your dreaming? Would you dream of such a thing? You seem to hate me right now. If your going to stop me – stop me now!

I move close. So warm Near..._will you let me?_

I move close enough, so close that I just need to purse my lips, and then I can taste you. I'm at your neck, I kiss it. I suck on it and nip at it. Your breathing is getting heavier.

Remember, I want you to pant!

I look at your neck, I've left a mark. Red, fading to pink. Soon to fade more and become un-noticeable, how unfortunate. It can't stay there forever.

I move even closer. I'm against you, so close to you. I continue to work at your neck while I run my hands down your back; lower and lower still.

Why are your eyes shut so tightly. Your mouth is slightly open while you try to control your breathing. _Are you enjoying it, Near?_

Your breathing is getting faster. _Almost panting_. I can feel myself seriously turned on. Don't tell me to stop.

My hands are beneath your boxers, I can feel the crease that separates you. _Will you let me in?_

A little more, _your almost panting._

"Mello..." you sigh.

Yes, are you going to tell me to go faster?

"What is it...Near?"

"Stop" you say.

Stop?! No, that isn't what you just said, is it?

"Stop, Mello..." you repeat, but it sinks a little deeper this time.

_No, you bastard!_

I do as you say, reluctantly...I stop.

I get up almost immediately after. That hurt Near, that really did.

Climbing out of the bed, I make my way to the on-suite. Watching as the droplets of water continue to tap at that marble.

I have a growing problem, and I don't have you to help me, so I guess my hand will be my lover tonight...I shut the door behind me.

I remember, you asked me. That first time, you asked me 'Am I cold' Do you remember what I said?

'if you want to keep yourself to yourself that doesn't make you cold'

But this is different, this isn't a matter of wanting to be alone Near..._your being cold!_

I sit down on the toilet seat, I'm practically sulking for having to do this myself. I've only got silk boxers to cover it, and already its looks as though a tent has been erected. But its not a tent that's erected here...

I grip the waste band of my boxers, sliding them down, lifting myself up as I carefully manoeuvred it over my now weeping erection.

'fuck' the toilet seat is damn cold. I'm reluctant to do it, but I will. _You bastard._

I grip my hands around my penis, its now seriously swollen. I began an up and down motion. "hnn" I moan out, this feels really good, but it could have been better if you weren't such a...

"ahh" I'm trying to be quiet, I don't want you to hear, although you probably can.

The pumping is getting faster, harder, violent...

I'm hurting myself, but the pleasure is preventing me from stopping. I bite down on my lip hard, there's nothing to grab on to. I feel the beginnings of a cut on my bottom lip as I begin to taste that metallic liquid.

"hah...Ah nn"_ I'm _panting now, Near, it was supposed to be you.

I can feel that funny feeling in my stomach, I'm getting close. I was only supposed to see your face when I felt like this, remember that's what you said. Well where are you now?

I buck my hips up, I can never control them when I'm like this. "Ahn, ah fuck!" I curse loudly as I can feel the beginnings of my orgasm washing over me. Bucking up a couple more times, in rhythm with my pumping the pearly white liquid spurts out, landing on the tiled floor.

You can barely see it, the floor is white. _You picked it out._

Still gripping tightly onto my member, I wait until the last waves of my orgasm wash over me. My body is convulsing gently...

Now I feel tired, I could sleep right here, right now. If I weren't so pissed off at you that is.

I slide my boxers back on carefully.

That fucking tap is still going, and that's when I decide. I'm not going to do this for much longer Near.

I get up to leave, but before I do. I turn of that damned tap; twist it tight. It wont meaninglessly bother something that doesn't care. I will stop it, now!

†

I wake up to bright light in my eyes. 'fucking hell' Its morning. The seven o'clock sun is seeping through those thin net curtains, and its irritating me. Groaning as I do, I sit up, squinting. My eyes still half closed and me still half asleep. Your side is empty, and the covers are tightly made. _Clean freak. _Ack, more light but its coming from the bathroom. Near, your actually here this morning. I can hear the shower. Everything is getting on my nerves this morning. The light, the covers that you feel the need to make every single time you lift your ass off of that bed. And now the shower, the sound of water that only reminds me of last night, and everything that happened.

I move quietly from the bed, I'm planning to just leave the room. I need to be away from you. I get up, but as I walk past the bathroom. I catch a glimpse of Near in the shower, reflected in the mirror. _Oh great, I can't leave now can I._

There's no way Near would be able to see me from where I am and where he is. I lean against the door frame, but not enough to push on the door. Wow this brings back memories doesn't it.

But from where I am, I can only see his face and half his torso. You've grown a bit since the last time I saw you completely. You look taller Near. I smile soundly to myself, how can I be content with just seeing you like this? That's right, I'm not!

But yet I'm entranced by the way the water hits your delicate skin. Splashing into your hair, running down the side of your face. Finding a path to make it down to the floor. That water can explore every inch of his body, _so why can't I?_ I could have all of that if I just walked in, but I can't bring myself to...because I'm scared of his rejection.

I get up quietly, the last thing I want is him to know I was there. I walk out of the room, past the living room and into the kitchen. "I'm hungry" I mumble to myself. There's no food in the house, it was supposed to be my turn to go shopping, but...I kinda forgot. Usually when that happens Near does it instead. But he's hardly been home lately, there's no need for him to shop for the both of us. I'm left to fend for myself.

I search the cupboards frantically looking for something edible. I check the fridge. Lucky, there's sour milk, mouldy cheese and a bar of chocolate that's only been there for a few days. It doesn't take a scientist to figure out which I'm gonna go for.

I make my way back to the couch, I think Near has finished his shower. I can't hear the water anymore.

I fall backwards onto the leather, letting my legs rest on the arm of the chair. Un-wrapping the chocolate I start to eat as if it were the only thing I've eaten in days. _It is._

Near walks out of the bedroom. I can see him over the chocolate bar I'm holding, but I pretend I haven't noticed him. I wonder if he's going out today.

Its Wednesday I think, I don't really keep track of the days like that alien over there. But as I thought, he grabs his coat and keys and heads for the door.

I can't just let him leave like that.

"Near!" I shout accidentally, I don't want him to just go. I'm sitting up now staring at him.

You've stopped, I've got your attention. But now that I do, I don't know what to say. Your looking at the floor though, not at me!

Your hand is still on the door handle though, your still turning it. Your still gonna leave.

You don't look up "I don't know what day I'll be home"

Pardon?! What day? Not what hour but what day now. Near...you, you...

"You bastard" I say quietly, my voice breaking. I know you heard me, the place isn't that big. But you still leave the house, slamming the door behind you.

"Bastard" I mumble, I feel like I'm going to cry. There's a pain in my throat, my mouth is getting moist. It hurts to hold it back, but I will. _I wont cry for you_.

I let my forehead fall into my hand. I can't believe you've done this to me, Near.

But now I know, your keeping something from me.

I can hear something vibrating, its really annoying. Where is it coming from. I look around the room, something flashing on the table. I think you left your phone Near.

I walk over to it, its flashing up a name that I don't recognise. 'Suki – Headquarters'

Who the hell is Suki from fucking headquarters, what headquarters?

I'm still fuming mad so I won't respect Near's privacy.

I press the green button.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Near? Where are you?" I don't recognise the voice, but its still jabbering on "The case isn't going to be solved in time if you don't get here soon"

"W-What?" What, what case, Near is working on a case? What you talking about Suki!

"Hello? Near? Just be quick!"

The phone line goes dead, that dull continuous tone.

A case, that's it, I have no choice but to snoop now.

I storm into the bedroom, this may be your room Near but its mine too!

I go straight for his corner unit, I open the drawer angrily nearly pulling the whole thing out. There's nothing in here but...Near stuff. A comb, a few of those toys he likes to collect, some lotion. 'bloody hell'

Where would he not want me to look, somewhere I wouldn't think twice about looking...the...the cleaning cabinet.

Moving to the on-suite, I rummage through the arrangement of different bleaches and cleaners. I'm pulling everything out now, my head is half way in the cabinet,

I can see something, something that looks like boring letters. But I pull them out regardless of why they're there or what they are.

It has a lot of writing on it, I might as well read it. I'm not getting anywhere with this searching game.

_'Dear Near'_

Is this what I'm looking for?

_'Near, as you well know'..._ Blah, blah. Skip, skip _'It is of our best interest if you accept the role of becoming L and taking the rest of his cases'_ What the fuck! L, Near, _what have you done?_

I begin reading the other letters.

_'Near, thank you for accepting the role of...'_

So that's it Near. I've read the letters over and over again. It states it in black and white. Near...you've betrayed me.

_When me and Near left the Wammy house to live together, we promised none of us would take the role of becoming L, simply because we knew it would rip our relationship apart. We both knew it would only turn into a competition all over again, and to be honest, we didn't want that at all...did we Near. But obviously you didn't care._

I cant believe what I'm seeing, but there it is as clear as day. What he's done, and what he's destroyed...

He's done it on purpose, I know he has. He's done it to rub it in my face, I'm number two, he's number one. That bastard how could he do this to me.

I feel that feeling again, the pain in your throat when your about to cry, but this time...I might of let one tear escape my ducts and roll down my cheek. Causing the ink to smudge on the letter. What do I do now.

There's a sound from behind me, I turn around swiftly. Its him, that traitor "Near" my voice is breaking again.

"M-Mello" he stutters.

I actually have your full attention now, when it matters.

We're both just standing there, your in the door way. I could just push past you and leave you where you stand. But I can't, I deserve an explanation. I open my mouth, shaky as the words sound as they leave my mouth, they still hit you hard.

"Everyone has a secret Near, but can you keep it?"

* * *

_**Yesh I know they wouldn't be as common as to send a letter, but I'm only human here.**_

_**I hope that didn't become to boring for you people, what with all the feelings etc. lol**_

_**Please tell me what you think, if you like it I shall start the next chapter immediately, if you don't theres no point :( Please review this, constructive criticism appreciated...but not total flames please, they hurt me lol.**_


	2. Rebound

Hey guys, I'm really sorry for the long delay between chapters, I was having serious blocks, but once I got started it was all good. Thanks for the encouragement Forbiddensoul562!

Enjoy...

* * *

_We're both just standing there, your in the door way. I could just push past you and leave you where you stand. But I can't, I deserve and explanation. I open my mouth, shaky as the words sound as they leave my mouth, they still hit him hard._

"_Everyone has a secret Near, but can you keep it?"_

I can barely breathe I've been holding my tears back for so long. My throat is in serious pain, I swallow trying desperately to sooth the throbbing sensation.

My hand his fisted tightly around the thin paper, my knuckles starting to turn white.

A burning tear rolls down my cheek and catches in the crook of my mouth, _I swore id never cry in front of him._

He's not saying a word, he's just standing there! Just standing there looking at the floor.

But I can feel myself getting more and more pissed off the longer the silence is there for – he can probably feel the daggers I'm throwing at him..._that bastard._

I open my mouth to speak, my voice will sound foreign to me, I know it. It wont be _my_ voice.

"Look at me..." I say trough gritted teeth, but he's not. Is he really gonna ignore me all over again? After This!?

"Near!" I shout "Look at me you bastard!"

He glances at me. _Just a glance._ Then just turns to the side. I'm so angry, and I don't think I'll be able to control it for much longer.

I drop the ball of paper, and before I know it...I've got Near against the wall.

Its like our entire relationship has been destroyed, a waste. _It has._

He's between the wall and my forearm, and for a split second I could of sworn that his eyes widened. But how could they of, that's not Nears style is it. He's cold and ruthless, and no one else sees it, no one else has to experience it except for me. _Why me?_

You've done this on purpose haven't you, to eliminate the competition, to humiliate me. _You've always been competitive._

The more the thoughts are circling in my head, the angrier I get, and the more I'm cutting off Near's air supply. _Why don't you pant Near._ For some reason, I can feel myself smiling. Why, why am I smiling. Is this really what I want. _No?_

Before releasing him harshly, I push my arm tighter against his neck. His legs buckle and he falls to the floor in front of me. He's still breathing..._unfortunately. _But its coming out in small pants and squeaks. I could kick him if I wanted to, and I want to, but why don't I?

Even after all of this, I still feel something for him, and because of that. I've got to get out of here.

I move away from his shaking body. _What an over actor. _I'm going to get out of this apartment as quick as I can. The air around me is suffocating me!

I walk into the main bedroom, searching for my pants. _I'm in my fucking boxers. _I pull them up my legs, past my thighs and zip them up hastily. Near's starting to get up. I can't believe he still hasn't said anything. _Forget clothes_, I get out of the bedroom and head straight for the door grabbing my boots and a jacket on the way.

"M-Mello"

I stop in my tracks, not on purpose. I wanted to keep walking, I wanted to leave without another word said. But even though it breaks as he calls my name, his voice still makes me freeze.

"Don't...don't leave"

You don't sound like you don't want me to leave, you don't sound like you've just betrayed me and you want me to forgive you. You sound like you always do Near. _Your a liar._

"Your a liar...and I hate you"

My last thoughts actually come out in dialogue, but it doesn't matter, because I've already left the apartment, slammed the door behind me and pressed 'down' on the elevator.

I'm angry, I'm pissed and I wanna kill someone. I look to the dark grey mirror in the elevator, and it reflects something different. I look sad, sad and depressed, like I wanna cry. _But I wont._ Instead, I pull on my boots and zip up my jacket. The elevator stops with a _sickly_ jolt.

The doors open too slowly for my liking, I just squeeze through the small gap and make my way out of the block.

The air is cold outside, its only around 8 o'clock and the sun is out. But its still so cold.

I fold my arms around my body in a desperate attempt to keep warm, the streets are busy. People getting to work I guess.

I walk away from the apartment complex, and focus on the street in front of me. If I don't focus...I'll look up. _And I do._

I look up, all the way to the top floor. I squint trying to make out the figure looking over the balcony. _White fluff ball, _and with that out of my system, I continue to walk with my arms still folding tightly around my chest.

†

Hmm, I'm tired. I've been walking for a while now, and according to the sun. Its probably around 5pm. What have I been doing all this time? I honestly don't know, the whole day has been a bit of a blur. I just remember trying to kill Near...and...taking some guys croissant. I can't remember why, _I think I was hungry._

I'm a state at the moment, I can only imagine what I look like right now. _Its not pretty. _I need to think. Where should I go, who should I go to? No way I can go back, not in a million years. _That is not an option._

I carry on walking the streets, it feels like its getting darker every minute. The prostitutes are beginning to appear slowly. I'm in _that_ kind of area now. _Matt should be close by then._

I smile inwardly to myself under the collar of my jacket. Heh Matt, I haven't spoken to him for a few weeks. _I miss him._

The sky is throwing a mixture of purple, yellow and blue. Blending into each other like a mist. It looks really nice, and peaceful. It calms me down a bit, the sky always does

"_Piss off Near, you did that on purpose!"_

"_No I didn't, Mello wait."_

"_Idiot, go away, w-what are you doing?!"_

"_Mello"_

_Next thing I know, I'm on the soft grass looking up at Near. He moves his head close to my neck and whispers into my ear "Look at the sky, Mello" I don't want to listen to him, but either way I look up at the baby blue space, filled with white fluffy clouds...reminds me of Near's hair. I take a deep breath and like magic, I'm some how calm, completely calm. Why? I don't know. But the sky does it to me._

"_Are you calm?"_

_I want to kick him and scream 'no!', but instead..._

"_Yeah..."_

_He smiles and just lays on top of my chest, he obviously knew that would happen, why does he know so much about me. Things that I barely know about myself. Am I really that much of an open book?_

But since that day, I've always loved to look at the sky for...sanctuary I guess you could say.

I continue to walk the blocks of the city, I pull out my phone that's in my jacket pocket. Scrolling down the contact list, I find 'Matt' I press the green phone and hold it up to my ear waiting for the dialling tone...

Its rings twice before,

"Yo?"

"Matt?"

"Yeah"

"Matt, where are you?"

"In a club..."

"What club?"

"Erm...Fumes"

"What?"

"Fumes! That's what its called"

This guy is such an idiot, I'm going to find him just to punch him.

"Matt do you even know who it is?"

"No"

"Matt!"

"Oh its you Mels, ha, only you shout like that"

"..."

I hang up the phone, he frustrates me so much. He can be so careless! I look around the city, and there it is right in front of me. A big western themed club flashing the word 'fumes' on it with a smoking 's' I don't know if that's intentional, or if the sign is about to explode.

I don't really know what to expect in a 'club' I've never been in one, haven't had a reason to..._not really._

I see clubs as a place to get away from everything, to forget, to enjoy yourself. I've never really had to get away from life before...because I've always been happy..._until now._ Maybe this club came at a good time?

I walk in, the buzzing atmosphere hits me straight away with a sickly sensation left behind. The music is really loud! People are barely wearing any clothes! Guys' are grinding up against me already! And Matt is at the bar downing shot glasses! Idiot, he better not be drunk.

I march over, ignoring all the people in my way, and have my sights set straight in front of me.

"Matt!" I shout over the music, he turns to look at me with a goofy smile

"Mel! You came" he gestures to a seat for me to sit down at, I kinda don't want to, but he's already ordered a drink for me, straight up vodka, and I can't refuse.

I haven't drunk in a while, _I hope I'm not a light weight._

After fists being banged on the table, and a bottle of vodka later, I've told Matt everything. Everything from Near ignoring me, to Suki calling me, to Near ignoring me, to Suki calling me, to Near betraying me, to me leaving him. I realise I've gone in a circle a couple times while telling him, but that's the only way my head can be described at the moment.

"Are you sure?" is the first thing that comes out of his mouth after being silent for almost fifteen minutes. Of course I'm fucking sure you moron, I wouldn't make this stuff up. Nor would I leave him without knowing the full story..._usually._

"Yes" I answer, not caring anymore.

"But Near would nev–"

"Well he did!" I interrupt. I will _not_ be told I'm wrong, _not now. _Not after everything I've just been through.

Matt goes silent, he doesn't say anything after, just smiles at me. A comforting one, why? Because he's my friend. _And I can count on him._

†

I've been at the bar with Matt a while now, I've been drinking non stop to be honest. I'm beginning to get a buzz from the alcohol and the people dancing around me. I turn around abruptly...someone tapped my shoulder.

"Do you wanna' dance" the guy asks me. He looks like Matt in the lighting, and if Matt wasn't sitting next to me right now, I would of mistaken him for Matt..._probably._

I look to Matt for some reason, I don't know..._reassurance._

He just nods, and with that I get up, but I loose my footing. I didn't feel this drunk sitting down, but the minute I get up, I feel dizzy and weak. The guy holds me up though, whoever he is.

Our feet are on the dance floor, and the minute they are, the guy grinds up against me. I contemplate on whether to go back to the bar and avoid him for the rest of the night, but as I feel the beat of the music, I start getting into it. Someone's body so close to mine..._I'm only used to one._Its a strange feeling. The friction from somebody else's body and my own, an even stranger feeling.

Somehow we end up against a wall, his body's grinding against mine and his face is nuzzled into my neck, I can feel his lips caressing the sensitive skin. He didn't waste much time on introductions. I can't help but allow a low moan to escape. I can feel myself getting excited, I want more of this feeling. I want more of this feeling to drown out the ones I don't want, if that even makes sense. I want to forget. Whoever you are...help me forget..._please._

I don't really know what's going on, my eyes have been squeezed shut for a few minutes, but I can still feel him at my neck, working his way up to my ear. He's whispering something, but I can't pay attention, I'm too busy trying to stay conscious.

I hear the 'zip' from the leather jacket I'm wearing, and then all I feel is hot air from my surroundings, all I'm wearing is my jacket. _Its all I had time to put on._

I can feel his mouth on my bare skin, his tongue flecking at my now erect nipples. It feels really good, and for a split second, I forget.

"Hey, fun's over" a voice calls from near us.

I open my eyes lazily, everything around me feels like its moving in slow motion. I see, red hair. Matt. He pulls the guy off of me, and my chest feels cold. I shiver a little before I feel myself being dragged away from all the people and outside into the cold night.

I hear the 'zip' from my jacket again, Matt did it up.

"What are you thinking, Mello?!"

His voice is confused, concerned and slightly angry. I don't answer him, I can't be bothered to.

"I thought you were with Near"

As I hear that name, my eyes open wide.

"Shut up!" I yell loudly "I hate Near. I was having fun...I was having fun. I don't have fun with Near!"

He simply looks at me, and walks ahead of me. But not before saying,

"That's a lie..."

He's right, that was a lie. _I do have fun with Near._

†

I end up being supported on the journey to Matt's house. _He's letting me stay?_ He really is good to me, I don't give him enough credit for what he does. I never do.

He kicks open the old wooden door, I'm surprised it didn't crumble to pieces there and then. Upon entering all I feel is a cold breeze, every window in the apartment seems to be open. Why? Don't ask me, this is Matt we're talking about.

I look around trying my best to keep my balance against his body. There are black, yellow and red wires all over the floor. Each and every one connected to something, weather its a computer, a gaming console or just a household electric item.

He tries to lay me down on the couch, but I keep hold of him. I'm laying down, but I'm clinging to his neck, my top half sitting up.

"Don't go..." I plead.

What the hells wrong with me, why am I being so needy. Above all, why am I being so needy towards Matt? But no matter how much I'm telling my body to let go of him, it doesn't. I'm clinging for dear life, why? I don't know...

"Mello?" he answers surprised.

"Don't..." don't tell me that I'm acting crazy, because I know. Don't tell me that you wont stay, because I know. Don't say that you won't kiss me, because I know...

He eases his body down a bit, so he's kneeling on the couch. My arms still tightly gripped around his neck. Our faces are only inches away, and for a second I think about kissing him. But I didn't think about it for long enough, because I do it anyway.

I push my lips against my best friends, I don't know why, but I do. His lips are soft, softer then I would imagine. Their warm and inviting, weather he wanted them to be or not.

This is terrible, I have to stop, but at the same time I'm thinking. Don't push me away Matt...

Finally, I feel some movement in his lips, but he doesn't kiss back. He's trying to speak, but I wont let him, I wont let him tell me to stop. To tell me that I'm acting crazy...because believe it or not, I already know.

He's trying to push me off, but he's being gentle about it. _Are you trying not to hurt my feelings Matt?_

But I push harder against him, and I end up straddling his legs while he's in a sitting position on the couch. I gasp for air briefly before I crash my lips against his again, this time with bruising force. I'm lonely Matt, don't reject me like he did...please..._don't._

He's still pushing against me, but then, he kisses me back briefly catching me off guard. He pushes me down so I'm laying down again and he's on top of me. _Are you really going to let me Matt?_

But then, he stops. Stops pushing, stops kissing. He raises his head to look at me directly. _Don't reject me. Don't tell me to get out._

"If your lonely, Mello" I know what he's going to say "Then go back to Near" but it still hits me like a ton of bricks. 'Go back to Near' he says. How dare he put so much faith into that bastard. I'll go back to Near when Matt becomes L!

He gets up, and starts leaving. No. _Don't leave._

"Matt" I call "Don't lea–"

"I don't think its a good idea" he interrupts.

And as he leaves, I feel that painful lump in my throat again. Soft sobs escape my mouth, as I try my best to repress them so Matt can't hear. _Although he probably can._

I'm lonely, I'm confused, I'm drunk and I just made a pass at my best friend. What else could go wrong right now?_ I shouldn't jinx it._

* * *

AU: Okay guys who actually read this, again I am very sorry for the delay between chapters Ive been so busy lately its not even funny XD

For those who are worried about a MelloXMatt fic; don't worry your pretty little heads, Mello is in the rebound stage and will go after anything that moves. This is still a NearXMello fic.

Please review, I promise, they keep me sane in this world full of homework and studying.


	3. In The Dark

AN; This chapter turned out to be a freakishly longer than what I was going for. Hope you enjoy it either way :D, I thought about splitting it up into two chapters. But where would be the fun in that...

I hope this chapter wasn't too confusing, but if there are any questions that you feel just need to be answered, feel free to PM me.

Disclaimer – I do not own Death Note or any of the characters I use, Nor do I own the song;

Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

* * *

_"Matt" I call "Don't lea–"_

_"I don't think its a good idea" he interrupts._

_And as he leaves, I feel that painful lump in my throat again. Soft sobs escape my mouth, as I try my best to repress them so Matt can't hear. Although he probably can._

_I'm lonely, I'm confused, I'm drunk and I just made a pass at my best friend. What else could go wrong right now? I shouldn't jinx it._

**In the Dark**

I wake up slowly, with the sun in my eyes for the second morning in a row. I don't remember falling asleep. But I imagine I cried myself to sleep. My face feels tight and swollen, especially my eyes and..._my_ _lips_...

My memory of last night is coming back in bits and pieces, I remember...Matt, and a bar, and a Matt look-a-like. Home, couch and..._shit._

I sit up instantly, regretting it a second later, when a chasing headache catches me painfully. "Fuck" I swear under my breath. My mouth tastes like something crawled in it and died. Mixed with an ashtray, a dirty ashtray. My throat is sore and my head is throbbing. I can barely open my eyes against the light pouring through Matt's curtain-less windows. And thoughts of last night keep circling my mind...how embarrassing. Really, what was I thinking. I was thinking I was lonely..._probably._

Still, I must have been somebody else last night. _The real me._

After the throbbing in my head stops long enough for me to look around, I do just that. The place is actually kind of...clean, for Matt. If you excuse the beer cans scattered in various places all over the apartment. _There all empty as well._

But some how Matt's happy, I mean, he _seems_ like he's happy. He's always got a smile on his face, he's hardly ever upset, and yet all he needs for that happiness is. Himself? No, there must be more to it.

I hear a door open. _Speak of the devil._ And Matt strolls out of the bedroom with that look on his face. _The hangover look._ I can't help but allow a smirk to take over my lips, that face he makes always makes me laugh.

He's just in his boxers, I'm surprised he didn't freeze to death with all the windows open last night. Then again, I guess I'm lucky to be alive, it was colder in _this_ room.

I need to apologise to him, clear things up. I don't think of Matt in that way, I'm sure he knows that too. But either way, I need to say I'm sorry.

Almost as if he read my thoughts;

"Don't worry about it, do you want breakfast?"

Fine with me, if he doesn't want an apology, I'm fine with not giving one.

"Erm..." is the most intelligent response I can think of.

He just smiles and drags his feet into the kitchen. I can't imagine Matt cooking, or making breakfast in general. I guess he can be pretty handy.

I suddenly hear the sound of saucepans falling and glass breaking just as the thought crosses my mind. _That doesn't restore much confidence._

Then Matt pops his head around the door frame.

"There's a café down the road"

I laugh out loud at that point. I knew there was a reason I missed being around him. We look at each other briefly and both burst out laughing. It wasn't that funny, but it was...you had to of been there.

As the laughter begins to die down, it stops abruptly when there's a knock on the door. A soft knock, a knock that says 'nothing too important, but I need to see you' _so to speak._

I look to the door, then look to Matt, then to the door again. For some reason, I can't bring myself to move, I just stare at the door for one reason or another._ Weird._

Matt doesn't seem that bothered, he just casually walks over to the door. Who could be knocking at this time? _Does this happen often? _

He places his hands on both the lock and the handle, and twists and pulls at the same time. The latch is on so the door only opens a few inches. I can't see who it is, the door opens at an angle away from me. All I can see is Matt, slightly facing sideways.

Matt seems surprised by who ever is at the door.

"N-Near?" he stutters "What are you doing here?"

Near?! What! Why the hell would Near be here, at Matt's place, where Matt lives?

I just sit there staring blankly at what I can see of the door and Matt's face. My mouth agape.

I can't hear what Near's saying though, but my curiosity is getting the better of me.

Without making a sound, I rise off the couch, doing my best not to move too much. Any unnecessary sound would be...well...unnecessary.

I walk cautiously over to the door, trying my best to avoid the creaky floorboards.

I'm up against the wall, the door next to me but the opening facing Matt. We have a good view of each other now, I can see his full expression...still shocked.

I can hear Near's voice

"...I can't fine him" I'm guessing he's talking about me "Do you know where he is?"

With that Matt looks at me through the corner of his eye.

"Erm..." he starts, but I shoot him a death glare. If Near knew I were here, he'd demand to be let in. He'd want to see me, he'd want to...talk.

Matt registers pretty quickly to what my glares mean.

"N-No, he's not here" Idiot! He asked if you knew where I am, not if I'm_ here_.

"I see" he says quietly. I can't help but feel satisfied by this. After all I've been through in less than twenty-four hours. Actually, if you count how long Near's been acting like a prick, it adds up to weeks. I smile inwardly to myself.

"Matt, if you know where he is...please tell me" wow Near, that was unexpected, then again, Matt sucks at lying.

Matt shakes his head quickly and slightly dramatically "I don't know where he is, Near"

"Fine" he answers simply. "Sorry for the intrusion"

Matt closes the door a few seconds after the last word's were spoken, and just looks at me.

"He's worr–"

"I don't care" I interrupt. Well, I don't. Not really. _Maybe._ Not enough to do anything about it anyway...not right now.

"So how long are you planning on staying here?"

"Huh?" the question caught me slightly off guard. Staying? I guess I never really thought of staying. But, where else have I got to go to be honest. I don't really have much of a choice but to stay, do I?

What am I so worried about, this will be great. Me and Matt. Matt and I. Living together, having a laugh. Getting drunk every night going to exhaust, or smoke...or whatever that club was called. No cares, no commitment...no Near.

Just picking up guys...and girls, getting laid whenever we feel like it. Not getting rejected every time you feel like being with a white fluff ball. Not being told to 'get off' when you want to be close. Not...not...

"Mello, are you okay" comes Matt's voice.

Then I realise, I'm just standing there, leaning against the wall. My face probably looks as though I'm about to cry. _Because I am._

"Mello?" he asks again, looking a little more concerned.

"I don't want to be with just _anyone_" my voice is breaking.

What the hell is wrong with me, why am I acting like such a...a...I don't even know. Why am I so emotional, why do I feel like I'm going to cry every other minute. Why do I –

Next thing I know, Matt's so close to me I can feel his body heat. He's, hugging me? He's hugging me, tightly. Trying to comfort me, trying to make me feel better.

Tears are pricking in the corners of my eyes, threatening to over flow.

"W-Why am I always crying, Matt?" my breathing is coming out in pants. "Why am I...never happy for long?"

I can feel his arms get tighter around me, really tight. Reassuringly tight.

So, I guess I'll be staying with Matty for a while.

†

"When are you going to get your stuff then?"

"It's a bit too soon isn't it?"

"Its been three days hasn't it?"

"Well, what if he's waiting?"

"If you haven't come back in the first forty-eight hours, people normally give up"

"Near isn't normal"

"Either way, the 'L' job is pretty time consuming. I doubt he's got time to work, and wait for you at the apartment"

"...I guess"

"Uh-huh, so go get your stuff soon, its already almost midnight. He'll be working right?"

"Yeah..."

"Great...I'll wait here for you. Go, go, go Cinderella, before you turn into a pumpkin"

"Matt!"

"...ouch!"

I leave Matt's apartment, after hitting him that is. He's so careless, sometimes I find myself just watching him and...feeling jealous.

Its pretty cold out tonight, like seriously cold. I can see the condensation of my breath against the night air in front of my face. The city is pretty busy at this time. There's cars speeding back and forth, lights on every building in sight and...girls standing on street corners.

It doesn't take me long to bus it to where I _used to_ live. This part of town is much a contradiction to where Matt lives. Its quiet, quiet enough to think. I look up to the top floor of the apartment complex, there aren't any lights on. _I think I'll be alright._

After exiting the elevator, I make a beeline to the apartment door. Its always quiet on this floor, its creepy.

After twisting my key and unlocking the tumblers as soundly as I can, the door pushes open with a squeak making me feel even more on edge.

What's the matter with me, why am I feeling so nervous. So what if Near is here, _which he most likely isn't. _Its not like his feeble body could stop me from leaving. Not like those small arms could hold me down. Not like those lifeless eyes could tell me to stay...not like –_ I do think too much._

Entering the pitch black apartment did prove to be difficult. I couldn't remember where I left all my stuff. Plus doing it in the dark was even more difficult.

I grab an old travel bag from inside the closet, and seize as much of my belongings as I can. I'm feeling a little anxious, probably the reason I'm trying to get in and out as quick as I can.

Underwear; Truck loads

Clothes; Duh

Leather; of course...

"I'm all set" I whisper to myself.

I exit the master bedroom, and put my hand on the door ready to turn when...

"Mello?"

_Shit._

"Mello, where have you been?"

I turn around to see Near on the couch in the open plan living room. He looks as though he's just woken up, but that doesn't matter. I look away and twist the door handle, only to be stopped my a pale hand on top of mine. _He got up so quick._

"Mello, what are you doing?"

He's been asking all the questions tonight, its pissing me off.

"I'm leaving, what does it look like?" I say bluntly. And for some reason, he actually looks slightly surprised, only noticeable by the slight widening of his eyes.

"Why?" he states simply.

Why? WHY?! Why do you think Near. Are you stupid, are you insane for forgetting what you did. Are you –

My thoughts are cut off when a pair of soft lips are on my own. There warm, and I could really close my eyes right now and forget my anger towards him._ But that's not my style, is it._

I push Near off me violently, he hits his head against the wall with quite a 'thump' and I almost cringe at imagining the pain. But he's still standing, so it can't of hurt _that_ much.

"Mello, you can't leave, you ca – "

"Who are _you_ to tell me what I can and can't do" I interrupt. I can feel my anger pulsing through me. He's so blunt, yet he doesn't tell you anything. He's so intelligent, yet he doesn't do anything smart. He's so emotionless. Yet he can make you suffer the wrath of your emotions all at once..._so painfully._

"I'm leaving because of what you've done!" I advance towards him slightly "I'm leaving because you've made me feel like the most irrelevant person in your life!" my voice is getting louder and louder with every syllable "I'm leaving because you've made me hurt so bad! I hate you, I hate you so much! Near...you bastard!"

I'm seething with annoyance, anger and anxiety. My breathing is heavy. My face is hot. My patience is wearing thin.

"Mello?"

He's pissing me off. How dare he be so calm right now.

"Have you been eating well?"

"What?" what is he talking about?

"I hope you haven't just been eating chocolate..." he smiles. A really small smile though. _Like a fake smile._

"I-I" I'm caught slightly off guard here. What is he getting at.

"You've been cooking right, Not just take out? I assume living at Matt's for a few days, you wouldn't of bothered with eating properly"

What is he trying to do, is he trying to change the subject, or even...lighten the mood? He's really trying though, I can see it in his face. _He was worried._ But unfortunately, that doesn't change the facts of what has happened, and it was all down to him.

"And what about–"

"Shut up Near! Just shut up. Don't use your twisted mind games on me. I won't fall for it. Not this time, not after what you've done!"

He continues just standing there, looking at his sock covered toes.

"Your hidden agenda is obvious Near! How your trying to get above me, how your trying to surpass L!" I'm angry again, it didn't go away for long "I trusted you Near! I didn't pursue my ambition of becoming number one because...b-because" oh no, my voice is breaking, I'm going to cry. But I can't.

"Mello?"

"Because I wanted to be with you, if I worked with you, I'd be able to stay with...Near" Near...you've truly broken me. I'm angry at myself for relying on you so much, I can't stay with you anymore. I know I'll barely be able to live without you, because of this. Its going to be hard, really hard. But it hurts too much now.

I hear tapping on the floorboards as my tears fall onto them.

"Mello I'm sorry. I'm sorry for–"

"I'm not listening to you...not anymore Near, I'm not"

"Mello"

"No!" I cover my ears with my hands childishly, shaking my head, tears still running down my face.

"Mello!"

"I said no! No! No! I'm not listening I'm not–"

"I'LL QUIT!"

What? What did he say? I've never heard Near scream so loud before. I've never heard Near scream at all, or quit at anything. What is he thinking, what is he –

I look up at him, totally surprised, my eyes wide. He's standing there still, his head bowed low and a-a tear?! Falls to the floorboards?! _What have I done to you Near?_

"Don't be so selfish, Near"

He looks up at me, surprised. I kinda surprised myself with that one too.

"People need L and without him, who would be the one to free the world from psychos like Kira?"

He opens his mouth to speak, but I just turn and walk to the door again.

"Mello, wait"

I'm not going to wait Near, there's no reason for me to.

My hand is stopped as I try and make it to the door. Near's hand is holding onto my wrist. _Tightly._

"What are you–!" I start.

"Your not listening"

"I don't need to!" I pull my arm away from Near, releasing his grip.

"Yes you do!" he tries to grab my wrist again as I advance to the door. But I push him against the wall instead, pinning him by his shoulders. _Dropping my bag in the process._

Looking at me blankly he doesn't seem surprised, or scared or...anything. But...he looks, angry? No way, Near, angry, I don't think so.

"Your just being selfish!" I yell at him.

With a swift movement, Near pushes me hard moving towards me, forcing me to fall onto the floor on my back.

"Why can't I win with you, I said I'd quit but you won't stop!" Near's raising his voice, and I can't help but let a smirk show on my lips. This is exciting, to see what Near is really feeling. But at the same time, I'm scared. I've never seen Near this way before.

"You can't quit now, you've taken it" I say, just looking up at him. I'm going to drive you crazy Near, I'm going to make you regret this...I will.

"Then what am I supposed to do?!" he's frustrated, his face is becoming flushed.

"Nothing" my voice is calm "Be L, forget me, I don't care, just let go"

Before he has a chance to, I roll so he is underneath me. I look at him briefly, making a mental note of how my ex-lover looked.

I get off of him, and for the third time, try and make it to the door.

"Mello stop!"

He grabs me from behind, wrapping his arms around my stomach, stopping me from moving. He's really strong for his appearance. _I forgot._

He pushes me against the wall, hard. My head hits it full on, resembling the 'thump' from earlier.

I'm up against the wall now, my chest is pressed hard against it, and Near puts me in an arm lock, pulling painfully.

"P-Piss off" I manage to say "Let me g–"

"I'm doing this for you!"

I whimper slightly, it hurts to move, and every time Near speaks, the movement makes the pain worse.

"How are you?"

"I'm doing this to protect you"

Again, how are you Near?

"You left the Mafia in a mess, I received information about everything"

"What are you talking about?"

"You have so many enemies, people know you now, people want revenge. Its unbelievable the amount of people that want you dead. Its organised and its dangerous Mello!"

I hear Near's words, and they effect me. Its obvious people would want _me _dead. I've done a lot of things, to a lot of people. But right now, all I'm concentrating on, is Near's breath against my ear. _Its tickling. _He's the same height as me now. I can't really push him around anymore.

"I did this so I could do something about it"

"I don't need your help"

"Obviously you do, because without me becoming L, you would be dead right now"

It hits me hard, really hard. Near's been protecting...me? That's what he's been doing, that's what's with all the late nights and stress and – what have you done Near? What have_ I _done?

I slide down against the wall, kneeling now, Near moving down with me. He's still holding me close to it. I can feel that lump in my throat. The one that tells me, all my pride is about to disappear. Near...fine, you were protecting me but why, why –

"Why did you forget me?" my voice is broken, the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes have fallen. My forehead is the only part of my body against the wall now.

"...I didn't, I just couldn't look at you...I felt so guilty"

"You...rejected me..." my sobs are forcing me to take breaths between my words.

"I'm sorry, Mello"

"I hate you right now, Near"

"I know"

I feel his breath move across my neck, down to my shoulder blade.

"I'm sorry Mello..." his mouth clamps onto my shoulder blade, sucking gently at the skin there. Making me shudder.

"I'm really sorry Mello" his muffled voice. His hand that was holding my stomach moves up my chest and grasps my chin, forcing me to face sideways. Near meets me halfway, and captures my lips with a heated kiss.

My eyes widen before they become half-lidded, and eventually close.

I had almost forgotten what is was like to be so close to you Near. I'll forgive you, just this once.

"Mmph!" he runs his fingers over my crotch, causing me moan, only to be muffled by his lips. Matt's shorts aren't as thick as leather. I can feel every one of Near's movements because of it.

The kiss breaks briefly, while we both gasp for air.

I feel like I'm on fire, I feel like I've needed this for so long...Near, where have you been?

I want more. I lean in and push my lips against Near's roughly, closing the distance between us. He says something, but his voice is muffled.

He bites my bottom lip hard, causing me to unexpectedly open my mouth.

His tongue enters my mouth, massaging mine with his. I moan into his mouth as I try to do the same, but he holds my tongue down with his own.

He pulls away slightly, and nips and sucks on my bottom lip. It tickles a little. _Feels good though._

I feel his hand move away from my crotch, I whimper slightly in protest. _I was becoming hard._ Instead, his hands move up to the collar of my shirt I'm wearing. I feel the buttons pop open as he pulls on it roughly, buttons hitting the wall as he does.

He pulls the shirt off hastily, revealing my bare torso, and gently runs his fingers up my stomach, up to my chest as clasps onto my nipple.

I groan out at the sensation.

My arm is against the wall, my hand flat against it trying to claw as he continues to roll the soft pink numbs between his middle and index fingers.

My other hand is supporting me on the floor, stopping me from falling sideways.

Finally, his mouth moves from my own and instead, secures on my neck. He kisses it gently, sucking even more gently. It's causing me to moan, and pant and want more.

Not a word has been said between us, the only noises filling the room is the sound of me moaning, and Near's heavy breathing.

I hear the sound of metal clanging together, when I feel the air around me.

_Near's unbuckled my belt._

He slips his hands below the waistband of both the shorts and boxers. I immediately react, thrusting my body upwards as the feeling of his hand grips around my erection hard.

"Ahh, Near!" is all I can manage to say.

His hand just rubs against me, softly. Teasing me painfully. I move my body up and down slightly, trying to make the feeling even more intense. But when I do, he just stops all together..._on purpose._ Forcing me to stay still while he does whatever he wants to me.

My breathing is really heavy now, and every now and again, a small groan escapes my throat.

"N-Near, wa–"

Before I know it, Near goes round to the back of my shorts, running his fingers over my entrance. I whimper from both the shock and the pleasure. He pulls the shorts down low enough and without much warning, he pushes a finger into me.

"Ah! Fuck!" I swear in a loud whisper. His fingers were dry, but the more he repeats the movement, the slicker they get, moving in and out of me with ease.

He goes to add another finger, and the minute he does, my body jolts up.

"Am I hurting you, Mello?"

"N-No...I'm fine?" I lie. It does hurt, I haven't been touched there for a while. Its a feeling that I'm waiting to get used to.

After moving in and out of me at a steady pace, I begin to get used to the feeling and start moving my hips in rhythm with Near's fingers. But I don't want his fingers anymore.

"Nea–" I stop, as I feel him pull out of me quickly.

I feel a prodding at my entrance, and before I have a chance to respond, I'm forced to bite my lip as a burning sensation fills me and heat enters me.

He grabs onto my hand against the wall instantly, and entwines our fingers.

Impaled by Near, I feel slightly crippled. I don't move, or make a sound. He pushes in further and a low grunt escapes my throat. When he's all the way in, he starts a really slow steady rhythm. I suck air between my teeth while I get used to the feeling.

He's going faster now, its not hurting anymore. It feels really good. I buck my hips in rhythm with Near's thrusts and start moaning in rhythm as well.

"Ah, Mello your so tight"

"Shut up N-Near, its your fault...you forgot–"

Nears pulls out almost all the way, and thrusts up mercilessly.

A long low groan leaves my mouth as I almost see stars. _That felt amazing._

"I didn't forget you..."

He repeats the action and I moan out again. He keeps hitting that spot, that spot that drives me crazy.

I can feel myself getting close, if he hits me there one more –

"Hahh!" Our movements are insane now. I'm now bouncing on Near. I'm gonna come...soon.

"Near...Near I'm gonna–!"

He thrusts into me one last time, hitting that spot dead on. I scream his name loudly before exploding on the wall in front of me. Not long after I feel hot liquid enter me. We ride out our orgasms completely before I rest my head against the wall and fall sideways onto the floor, with Near following.

Were both breathing really heavy, and its becoming totally silent. I can feel him playing with strands of my hair, smoothing them down making a strange tingling sensation cover my head. All that's in front of me is the wall, and I don't really feel like turning around to face him.

Near wraps his arms around me and pulls himself close to me from behind. He kisses my neck before saying.

"I'm sorry" I wonder how many times I can get him to say that.

"You said that already" Its getting annoying.

"Does that mean you forgive me...for not telling you?"

"I guess I have no choice" Even though, I'm really the one thats sorry.

"I'm going to quit...After, everything is done"

I move further away from Near, so his arms can't reach around me.

"Don't be selfish..." I told you before.

There's silence for a few seconds.

"If selfish means that I want to keep Mello close to me, and not have him as an enemy. I guess I really am _selfish_"

Near how can you keep a straight face when you say such _embarrassing_ things. Sure I said something _similar,_ but...you expect the unexpected. Still, it means something that he actually cares enough to quit. Even if he has finished the investigation, he still isn't one to quit.

I like the fact that I'm the reason why...

"Who will be L then?" I _am_ curious.

Quite a gap of silence passes before it is broken.

"Matt?"

"Matt?! Ha! Matt?!...don't tease" I silently laugh to myself, with the biggest smile on my face. Matt, that's funny.

"I'm serious"

"What?" Matt? I guess he's smart. I mean he's only third, so he would be. Looking at me and Near, he'd have to be smart to beat everyone else behind us.

"I guess he is smart...to a certain extent"

"I'll ask him tomorrow"

_That was strange._

Matt, Matt as L. He'd certainly investigate uniquely. This _would_ be interesting.

Where both still sitting there, naked on the floor. Breathing in each other, being close to one another.

I can't say I know how things will go from here, because I don't. Who knows how our relationship will continue, although I'll try if he's willing to..._I_ _guess_. If I think about it, I do come to a conclusion;

I think I love you Near, maybe. No, probably definitely. I might be able to actually say the words one day...

I even said I'd go back to Near if Matt becomes L...weird huh...?

...

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting  
Could it be that we have been this way before?  
I know you don't think that I am trying  
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a guy like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended  
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
You always thought that I was stronger  
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

Oh, but hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a guy like you is impossible to find  
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep  
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep  
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap  
And remember me tonight when you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a guy like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a guy like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find

_**Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade**_

* * *

AN; Yes...I've totally altered it how I like, I ended it that way cos I think it works for everyone (Matt, Near and Mello) so don't flame me for my dramatic change in story line :D...Please.

**This** _was_ the **_third and final chapter of the series,_** and there will be **no** more. So...please review, tell me what you thought, was it good? Could it be better? Thank You!

_Babbling_ - I actually found this chapter difficult to write cos...so much is going on, and I'd like you guys to be able to 'visualise' what's going on, so I tried to put in as much detail, without putting in_ too_ much detail, if you know what I mean?

I had to put that song at the end because, while I was writing the whole Mello and Near, finally calming down, I thought of that song...even had it playing while I was writing lol I felt it fit in with the last scene pretty well. But that's just me.

Obviously I changed;

**Because a girl like you is impossible to find **to **Because a guy like you is impossible to find**

Hehe XD

BuhBye xx


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